Please, please, please consult a divorce specialist attorney. Actually, consult the five best (divorce sharks) ones that are recommended in your area and pay the consultation fee. That way you knock them off your soon-to-be-ex-wife's list of possible representation, since to represent her would be conflict of interest (see I've learned something in my first year of law school). Every jurisdiction has its own laws concerning marital property, and if protecting your rights to that is important, then you must act first, and soon. From everything I have heard, whomever moves out of the marital home first is always at a slight disadvantage, so you may have to set up camp in a spare bedroom or on the couch. This is gonna suck, so hang in there, and stay strong, happy and healthy. Shoshana
La Capra
JoinedPosts by La Capra
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28
Filing for Divorce
by iiz2cool ini got married while i was a jw and have been married for 16 years.
the last 10 years have been totally loveless, and we have merely existed under the same roof, nothing more.
now that i've disassociated myself we have nothing in common at all.
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What Was The Nicest / Worst Thing That's Happened To You as a JW?
by minimus infor me, (at the time), being appointed at the age of 24 was my biggest happiness.....the worst thing was leaving my first congregation because certain people wanted me out.......were there any particular highs and lows that you will never forget about being a witness?
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La Capra
I have been wracking my memories for the "best thing" and I honestly can't think of a thing. I experienced no random kindness that was especially for me, or my family. No memories of "just feeling the happiest ever" at any JW function or event. The worst is an easy one. I was 15, at a district convention at the Oakland Coliseum-which was unusual becuase for many years before and ever since that summer, the district conventions in the Bay Area have been at the Cow Palace. I was wearing a sundress, that left a modest amount of my shoulders and the top of my back exposed. In the final crush to exit the torturous environment on Sunday afternoon, this old lady whom I didn't know lost her balance and put her hand on my shoulder. Nothing wrong with that, I'm happy to keep the moth ball mavens from falling on me, crushing me, and soiling my sundress. However, she exclaimed how soft my skin was, so that everyone behind me noticed. Then she started stroking my back, and so did everyone within reach. It was probably only four or five people but to me it seemed like the hands of hundreds were reaching out and trying to grab me. I totally freaked out and I vaguely remember someone grabbing my arms before I punched the woman that started it in the face. The woman was mortified with herself when she realized what she had done, but that didn't help me. I experienced my first panic attack that day, and still have difficulty reamining calm in crowded environments like concerts, baseball games, and soemtimes even the pep rallies at the high school where I work. I don't remember how I got to the car, or where my mom was during all this.
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I am so angry!(venting)
by Sadie5 inyesterday i received not one but two water bills.
i immediately called city hall to question why we were getting two bills.
the clerk said it was because we were using water from a meter that had been inactive.
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La Capra
In general the city run agencies respond most to threats to go to a city council meeting where you will tell the council during public comment (do you have that in your state?-pubic comment and open meeting laws) Just what your complaint is. I used to regularly attend school board meetings and the parents that got what they wanedt from the administrators did just that. They wrote up a little speech WITHOUT the offending individual's name in it, but also brought a written copy of their complaint with the name of the employee they wanted rag about, that the the city manager (or his clerk) will take off your hands. If it is the clerk, everyone in the town hall will hear about who was complained about at the council meeting. Don't forget to mention that you are a voter, they represent you, and that you are in the power to vote them out. People who are in cutomer service (even if they have a monopoly) shouldn't have the right to lie about actions taken jsut to shut people up. I hate the whole ater thing myself. My next door neighbors use five times the amount of water as I do and their bill is only ten percent more. Shoshana
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6
I am so angry!(venting)
by Sadie5 inyesterday i received not one but two water bills.
i immediately called city hall to question why we were getting two bills.
the clerk said it was because we were using water from a meter that had been inactive.
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How Many are Single? How Many are Looking?
by Robdar ini find myself finally becoming accustomed to the fact that i am single again.
i am no longer thinking in couple terms and i now cook to please only me.
it's fun and scary all at the same time.
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La Capra
I'm single, and definitely not looking, but wouldn't sneeze at a nice Jewish boy who happened to cross my very hectic path right now. Boyfriends take a lot of time, and easily feel rejected when the girlfriend has so little time for them. Shoshana
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New San Francisco Chronicle Article on JW Child Abuse, July 31/03 - Huge!
by hawkaw ingerard, forgive me as you already posted this but i want this as a new post.
this is big news because this newspaper is northern california's largest newspaper.
page a15.
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La Capra
If the molester in the Pence case reported the time and the study on his monthly sevice report (and y'all know he was, doublefold), then basically, he was church sanctioned, and acting on behalf of the congregation. Even if he weren't formally appointed as a leader, by allowing a study to continue, the congregation leaders know he is acting as a representative of the church. All the same obligations are the same when he is held out to be a leader, even if he is not one officially. Those lawyers should subpoena the guy's service records. Those would be quite damning. And isn't it good to know that any religion over one hundred years old can't be a cult. This is a huge weight off my mind. I think I can sleep tonight. Shoshana
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"Marked" for destruction
by sandy inmy niece decided not to give up her non jw boyfriend.
the elders marked her.
she said they will give a talk on "local needs" and warn the friends that someone in the congregation is not such good association.. she said they will not announce her name.
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La Capra
This practice is completely counter to the results the dubs hope it will produce. When I got my puppy and he started chewing on my shoe, I distracted him, then gave him a desirable alternative, his chew toy, to chew, and praised him when he did. When this gal was called on the carpet for basically, "bad association" instead of encouraging her with "good association," inviting her on outings and "distracting" her from her worldly boyfriend, all this does is leave her feeling alone and seeking companionship and understanding. Now who does she have to turn to? Her "worldly boyfriend". Thank goodness she didn't give him up, because even if she did, the elders STILL WOULD HAVE GIVEN THE TALK. And of course, everyone knows who they are talking about, and she still would have been marked. Everyone knows that the sure fire way to drive a girl to an "undesirable beau" is to forbid her to see him. They are so backwards in this regard. Hey you lurking elders, who think you know everything about human nature with your high school educations and window washing businesses, take note...People have alternatives to your social circles. If you instruct rejection, people will find the alternatives. By relying on advice that might have worked thousands of years ago, when societies were closed and fixed is outdated and ultimately ineffective and UNLOVING (cheeses gonna kick yo butts). You are to blame for "stumbling" this gal. For her sake, I hope she falls all the way out. Shoshana
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Extra Junk in the Trunk?
by rem inladies and gentlemen,.
would it bother you if your mate gained more than a few pounds after the start of your relationship?
would you feel like your significant other changed on you and turned into a different person?
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La Capra
What I think is really uncool, is when they go bald after several years. The nerve, to change from the person I met....Shoshana
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Give experiences as to what it felt to be a female in the JW's..
by Country Girl ini can tell you how bad it felt.
it felt bad every time i put some "doily" on my head cuz some fourteen year old baptized freak was saying the pryaer that day.
it felt good when i had to put a napkin on my head, knowing i was the oldest child, because my brother was baptized... and i was older and babysitting him.. to show "submission.".
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La Capra
After years of ineffective indoctrination on the submissive role of females in the organization, I was visiting some "friends" of my mother for a few days. Their kids were about the same age as me, and their oldest son, about 22, still lived in their three bedroom apartment, sharing a room with his two younger brothers. We all went to the book study, at another apartment in the same complex. There was a question that was very unlike a typical book study question because the answer was not actually written in the paragraph. The book study conductor and I were the only two there that knew the correct answer, but since ONE brother had answered it wrong, I couldn't give the correct answer. They went through FOUR wrong answers, and I never got called on to clarify the answer. The funny thing is that it was not a hard question-but unusual- it called for an explanation of a metaphor (illustration?) that was used. The funniest part was afterwards, the "oldest son" felt compelled to explain to me that he had figured out why I didn't get called on. I figured it out right away without him, but it was still annoying, so I said, "Well, I sure hope my future husband doesn't make a mistake when he balances the check book, because I won't be allowed to correct him, before he started writing bad checks...." He wasn't amused, but then again, I wasn't trying to be funny, just ironic. Headship was my first and biggest problem with this cult. I have numerous experiences of outsmarting and outwitting the brothers (particularly the elders)in my congregation. Fortunately one of the truly "good guys" would always defend me, and point out to them that all I ever did was be correct when they were wrong, and they should leave me alone. They tried for so long to get "dirt" on me, but it just didn't work. I finally got tired of always having to watch my back and resented the paranoia I was developing, so I bailed. If they (the 5 out of 6) hadn't tried so hard to keep "me down," I probably wouldn't have left. Shoshana
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21
WHY R U AVOIDING this?
by puzzled ini was just reading moxy's post "biggest mathematical miracle in the world" .
and as i was reading all the logical reasons why it would have been impossible at least physically impossible, for that many israelites not to mention even one, to wonder through the desert 40 years and not leave a trace of their even having been there.. the only thing that seems to be more incredible then that is how many people on earth believe it.
regardless of weather it's true or not what is it that continues to inspire millions and billions of people to continue to believe?
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La Capra
Humans are also the only creatures who have the ability to imagine things that don't exist, and fantasize about things that aren't true. Imagination and Fancy are the flip side of the Logic and Reason coin. Can you have one without the other? I hope not. Mythical history may or may not truly have happened, but, for hundreds of generations, people have believed it happened. Rather than focusing on whether it happened, I focus on what it means that people believe it happened. Shoshana